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24 January 2012

RemembeRED: Personification

I am a pen.

I bleed for my owner; red all over the page. She can only write with me.

I am special.

Her warm fingertips curl around me, taking away any doubts I may have had about her using another pen. Impossible!

She taps me against the blank paper; I can see her green eyes ripe with ideas. Ideas she will write with my ink.

At once she starts writing, her thoughts mixing with my blood red ink. I hemorrhage on the page, every word draining me.

Suddenly, a realization fills my chamber. I know that eventually, I will end up in the trash with my dead brothers and sisters.

I wasn't aware of how much ink I had left in me – I was too distracted by my selfishness. I took a moment to gauge my levels. I was too low! I felt a scream building in my plastic shell. My tip skipped across the page, ink catching in my throat but not escaping. I faded into a dull pink on the page.

Well, this one's dead.”

Darkness spread through me; I knew it was the end.

This was a practice in personification from Write on Edge
We had to write a story in 400 words or less from the point of view of an inanimate object.
Mine is a bit short, but I think I get my point across.  Hope you like it, and go check out the other posts at Write on Edge!!

--edited the end line per comment suggestion!--


  1. Ooo.... I love the grotesque imagery here: "I hemorrhage" - very strong!

    Great ending.

    Time for a new pen!

    1. I try to think up different synonyms for things. Thanks! And thanks for stopping by!!

  2. This is fabulous!! You really caught the emotions of the pen.

    I have my favorite pens - and they are the only ones I can use (especially for writing or journalling). It is always sad when one dies.

    1. Thanks Tracie! I tried. And yes, I have my favorite pens too. It has to specific for my journal. Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Well put. I've never given a second thought to any of them, except the ones I favored.

    1. Wow, you definitely made me think of my beloved pens in a different way. Wonderful.

  4. Love how vivid this is! I hate that pens are being slowly replaced by keyboards. There's truly nothing like writing longhand though. The passion here shows that.

    Nicely done!

  5. Ok, first, the photo is amazing. Perfect for this piece!

    And you pulled me right in with "I bleed for my owner; red all over the page." Vivid, and true, oh, wow, the pen really is spilling its lifeblood on the page and it can't get it back and then oh, you went for the empty ink tank and the skip on the page and .... it's dead.

    All from a pen. Damn, girl!

    My only criticism is the last line: "Darkness spread through my eye; I knew it was the end." It took me out of the story because all I could think was, "Pens don't have eyes." Perhaps you could tweak it a bit and say something like "Darkness seeped through me; I knew it was the end."

  6. This personification of the red pen was fantastic. Bleeding out, knowing the end was near then fades to pink. Almost felt like it was set in the ER at the I've been watching too much Grey's!



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