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02 January 2010

No Kiss Blogfest Contest Scene!!

Today on Write on Edge, it is the weekend linkup.  I chose a chapter from one of my WIPs that I used for a blogfest a few years ago.  Enjoy!

@Frankiediane is having a "No Kiss" Blogfest today, and my entry is posted below!! It's from my current WIP, Shutter Click.  Hope  you like my no-kiss!!
Holly was halfway to her car when she recalled not locking her lab door. She knew that could be dangerous considering what she had just spent the last hour developing. Naked photos would not be good for her reputation. She spun around and ran anxiously towards the lab, hoping no one would notice her erratic behavior.

She heard rustling on the other side of the door. Panic struck her chest, shortening her breath. Crashing through the door, she almost screamed at the sight of Charlie standing in the lab, holding a naked picture of her.

“Oh my gosh, Charlie! What in the hell are you doing in here?” Holly screeched at him.

“Well, it’s a long story Holly, but the doors on both your house and here were unlocked. What in the hell were you thinking?” Charlie’s deep voice echoed her irritation.

“I just forgot. I’ve had a lot on my mind, okay? You didn’t answer me: what are you doing in here?”

The tension grew when Charlie knew he’d been caught putting the naked photo in his wallet. He couldn’t ignore that it had happened, but he’d avoid bringing it up unless she did.

“I was looking for you! What happened at your house? There was blood everywhere, evidence boxes, and all those photos! What’s going on with you Holly?” Concern filled his eyes as he gazed at her disheveled appearance. She looked like hell had struck her with lightning. Holly knew that she couldn’t lie to Charlie, so she didn’t. Honesty would win him over faster, and then she’d be able to get back to her plans.

“Look Charlie,” she used his name for seriousness. “I've been having a really hard time dealing with these girls dying. I can’t figure out who the killer might be; I don’t even have the slightest idea. The clues are all over the place, and I can’t read them. As for my house, I was trying to get a feel for what the killer was trying to convey with the evidence. Why do the girls get posed and dressed up like they do? Why the notes with flowers? What does all this crap mean?” Holly’s eyes were welling with frustration.

“I don’t know either. I’m not a great detective like you are. Why are you crying? This isn’t your fault! It’s not your fault these girls are dead!” He knew what she needed. He reached out and softly touched her wet cheek, wiping away a fresh tear. Holly grasped onto his sleeve.

“Oh geez. I hate crying. Especially in front of people.” She smeared her mascara tears on his shirt as she hugged into his chest. She could feel his heartbeat murmur through his thick muscles. Shudders of sobs took over her body.

This shouldn’t feel this good.” Holly thought deeply. Charlie softly brushed aside her stray black locks. He tipped her chin up to meet his, hovering less than an inch away from her delicate lips. She could feel his warmth enveloping her mouth; cherry lips wet with anticipation. His cologne and anxious sweat mixed to make a scent so enrapturing, Holly’s knees nearly buckled under the pressure. Golden suns stared into her soul, his caramel skin hot under her touch. A flutter in her chest warned her of the mess to come, and she pulled away. Thwarted, Charlie’s mouth pouted. He could feel her yearning, and was confused at her apprehension. She pushed on his chest, getting as far away from him as she could. Holly had to save herself and him from any sort of heartbreak.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t do it. I need some time to get through what’s going on right now. Not that I didn’t want to, I just can’t hurt anyone else.” Holly hoped her sensitivity was keeping Charlie on her side. His chivalrous side would want to save her from herself, and that would be enough to keep him from snooping too hard.

“It’s alright,” Charlie held his emotion back. “I understand, but just know I’m always here for you when you need it. Any time, day or night.” He got close enough to smell her hair, kissed her forehead, and walked out. Holly dropped to her knees, bawling hard. She needed to feel him, needed his touch, but couldn’t let herself. It was so wearisome and only perpetuated her self-loathing.

P.S. Photo props go to 'ladytwiglet from her DeviantArt page.  Gorgeous photo!


  1. Love female detectives! Thanks for the scene!

  2. I write YA comedic mysteries. so, when i left your about me i thought to myself, " i'm going to like this." and, sure enough, i did : )

  3. Looked like hell had struck her with lightning. Loved it! Two thumbs up. :)
    My Blog

  4. Great "action energy" in gestures and body language! That's a skill you have to discover in yourself and you have it!
    For a beginner/returner writer, you've got a terrific headstart! I'll read/share critiques with you anytime.


  5. I agree with Kate. You have a skill in capturing the body language! great job!

  6. Love the hell struck by lightning description! Thanks for sharing this!

  7. OMG this was soooo cool and different. Loved it! Thanks so much for sharing and thank you for being so supportive of the No Kiss Blogfest and helping to make sure the day totally rocked! :-)

  8. You did really well with describing their body language in conveyed a whole different scene, in a good way, made it deeper more intese, nice job!

  9. Not in "it conveyed" sorry for the typo.

  10. You did a great job with this scene.
    I couldn't take my eyes off the computer screen.
    thanks for sharing ! (:

  11. I liked this scene! Um, and I want to know more about the naked pics! What's the deal with why she took them???



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