This is simply a post to say I'm just not sure this blogging thing is for me. Life has gotten so busy these past few months. Really this whole year. It has changed and rearranged so many times. It's been really hard to keep up with anything, personal or professional.
I moved my life across the country, started a job, quit a job, moved again, started school, started another job, quit both, sat around looking for answers, and then found yet another job (which I just quit yesterday to start school next month). I also squeezed a wedding in there somehow, and moving yet AGAIN.
Hopefully I won't have to move until 2014, when I will be moving to Hawaii with my new husband. That should be a VERY nice vacation, especially after the last few months.
So my original point stands, I am unsure that consistent blogging is something I can keep up with. I really do love the blogging world. It keeps me in the loop for cool contests, new books, writing advice, and fun people! But it also remains a source of self-inflicted stress. I feel pressure to perform on the same scale as the people who have been blogging professionally for years. I can't even read a book consistently, let alone review one in a decent amount of time. I have been trying to call myself a writer, as well as trying to write about my writing, but when I haven't written in FOREVER, it's hard to keep up with that persona.
What's the point? Anymore, I'm not sure. I created this persona: writer, reader, blogger - who is that person? I've been trying so hard to be something I'm not able to be.
Some would say I am over thinking something as simple as a blog. But when you put your words out into the world for everyone to read and judge, you take on certain responsibilities (even if only to yourself sometimes.) If you want to have anyone actually READ your blog, you have to have interesting material on a regular basis. It's my downfall that I just don't think I'm that interesting. Not every day, not every other day, and certainly not every week.
I tried to figure out what made me like reading the other blogs I love, and that's when I realized it - I am just mimicking the blogs I see. But no one ever told me what to do or how to do it, I just followed suit.
That is why I think if I am to blog, I must find my own groove. I can no longer do what everyone else is doing. And I guess I knew that the whole time. I've never gone to the beat of anyone's drum. Ever. My close friends tell me that is why we're friends - I'm interesting and fun and crazy and cool. We'll see.
But for now, I won't be blogging on this blog. If I do, I will be changing it up. Or I may just start a new blog: fresh, and all ME.
(and my husband)